Happiness is a Warm Gun

Aside from the general level of panic and fear I feel at every moment, the last few days have been pretty boring. I didn't know that in these situations someone could get bored. I am baffled by this realization.

I spent most of Tuesday questing for something to do. Any distraction would have been nice but Tuesday turned into a night of aimless pacing. I worry that these lulls might make me sloppy, that in the absence of something to do I might over extend myself and not be careful. Worse then being bored is feeling safe, the quickest way to miss step is believing you are safe. Constant Vigilance!!! It's a hard mind set to maintain, because it drains you and requires so much focus. Complacence cannot be an option, and I know have become too lax because yesterday I called Aaron's house my house. This is not my house I am a squatter.

Over the last two weeks of my stay I have endeavored to act as if I were a guest in this home, except for the last two days. Normally I sleep in the basement, on a cot with guest linens, Tuesday night I decided that I would go and take Aaron and Aprils blanket and pillows. After liberating their bed linens, Wednesday I decided to pilfer through their private drawers, and explore the closets. It was such a surreal feeling to be digging through other people’s private lives. I remember pretty clearly doing the same thing when I was a child to my parents. They had gone out for the day and left me home alone. I took that time to go through every drawer, the closet, and even under the bed. I went through every nook and cranny, and what did I find? Nothing of interest, not even a dirty magazine, my parents were boring people, and tidy.

Apparently Aaron and April are far more interesting people then my parents, because I found all sorts of things that I am sure they would not want the general public or their friends to know about. I will spare you most of the details, but there were outfits and accouterments of all shapes and sizes for all occasions, seriously some of thme were holiday themed. The most interesting thing I found was a handgun in a spring release mount attached to the underside of the bed frame. More fascinating than finding a gun in the home of my two dearest friends, who I know to be pacifists is the fact that is was on Aprils side of the bed. I knew that April wore the pants in that relationship, but I had no idea she also wore the gun!

The handgun is your standard model 9mm with a 12 round clip. Nothing fancy about the gun itself, it is kind of small but that makes for a better fit in woman's hand. So Now I have a gun, Aprils gun. I admit it makes me feel a bit safer, I now feel like maybe I have a fighting chance if the Yellow Men show up. I know it probably isn't much of a chance but at least it is something.

Ransacking Aaron and Aprils' house really made me miss them. I haven't really though about how my friends are gone, I have mainly focused on the task at hand, which is staying hidden and safe. These last two days have really weighed on me, I haven't had enough other things to worry about so I can't help but missing everyone wondering about them hoping they are okay. I wonder what they think happened to me? Does any one care? Did anyone even bother to look for me? Are they missing me like I miss them? Are they able to miss me?
I may never know, and on that heart warming note I bid you farewell.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on