Monday, November 2, 2009

The Road of Yellow Brick

The Road of Yellow Brick, AKA the Yellow Brick Road.
In the Wizard of Oz books it's known as The Road of Yellow Brick, in the film it's The Yellow Brick Road. Why the change? My guess would be The Yellow Brick Road sings a good deal better then The Road of Yellow Brick. Don't Believe me? Try it. ♫ Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow, follow follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road♫. That sounds pretty good. Now the other way.♫ Follow the road of yellow Brick, follow the road of yellow brick, follow, follow follow, follow, follow the road of yellow brick♫.

In the book the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy follows The Road of Yellow Brick to the Emerald City. At the origin of the Road of Yellow Brick is another road that spirals out and heads the opposite direction, it is a Red Brick Road.The Road of Yellow Brick is a path that brings Dorothy friends, answers, and a way home. Presumably, the red brick road leads further into the strange land of Oz and therefore madness, isolation, questions and the unknown.

So why the lesson, professor? Well Jim, you don't mind if I call you Jim do you? No? Good, Jim it is then.

Well Jim that is an excellent question. It is an analogy, and if I go on long enough it might even be allegory. But back to your question Jim, why the lesson? Well Jim, it seems as if some how I have found myself on The Red Brick Road. I am in a strange land full of strange things I don't understand and I desperately want to get back home. The way home is The Road of Yellow Brick but some how I missed it and wound up on the red road instead. Now rather then getting closer to home, finding friends, and getting answers, I am going further into this place, where madness and isolation are the arbiters.

Jim, my problems are many and varied. Saturday Oct30th I went out for food and mail, but not in the fashion I normally do. Normally a quick bite consists of me calling some friends, hopping in the car and getting dinner. Now I put on all black, wait until night fall, and sneak out of my former best friends currently abandoned house and steal from the neighbors. In fact Jim, I stole your corn, most of it anyways. I left you the King Korn. What is King Korn, Jim?....Never mind it isn't important. As distressing as it is to steal my food, that is not currently why I am so upset. Last Night I went about 5 houses down to the big blue house owned by the Truwaters' figuring they would have a well stocked pantry, since they made good money what with Sam being a big shot lawyer. Well I was in the backyard about to go in when I noticed that the house didn't look so hot. Two windows were busted out, and the inside looked like a fight had happened and I am pretty sure I saw blood on the floor. It was dark and hard to see, it could have been dried something or other, but I am pretty sure that is was dried blood.

Did I go in? Jim, it is not polite to interrupt a man when he is telling a story.

Touche, it isn't Polite to steal another mans corn either. I apologize.

Yes Jim, I went in. I don't know If I can tell you more about that right now. I think it's time for me to lay down.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Follow me don't follow me

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Life and Death of Terry Truwater

Let me tell you about Terry Truwater.

Terry Truwater is Dead. Long Live Terry Truwater.

Terry Truwater is the wife Sameal Truwater.

Terry Truwater had 2 children, Sameal Jr. & Tracy they were 8 & 7 years-old.

Terry Truwater was 29 years-old,

Terry Truwater was born November 24th 1979 in Perry Michigan.

Terry Truwater met her Husband at 19 years of age, was pregnant by 20, married at 21, and dead at 29.

Terry Truwater attended Lansing Jr. College where she met her husband Sam. She never finished.

Terry Truwater and Sam moved to 1 bedroom apartment in Vanuys California in January of
2000, because Sam had transferred to UCLA. Sam graduated in 2002, then continued on for law school. He graduated in 2005 and was hired directly into Latham & Watkins LLP.

Terry Truwater moved to Simi Valley in 2005 with her husband and Children.

Terry Truwater was in a serious car crash that killed her two children and left her in a coma on Oct 4th 2009

Terry Truwater was released brain dead into home hospice on Oct. 5th 2009 at the families request.

Terry Truwater's husband was found dead October 30th 2009

Yesterday I shot and killed Terry Truwater October 31st 2009.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Death is so ordinary, it happens every day.

Friday, October 30, 2009

You've Got Mail

I think for our purposes this post would be more aptly titled You had mail, but more on that later.

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds"

Did you know the Mailman/Mail Persons creed was not created by a mail carrier? It was in fact created by a Greek Historian in reference to Ancient Persian Couriers. It is confused as being the official creed because it is inscribed at The James Farley Post Office in New York City.

I know this because I wrote a paper about mail carriers in the 6th grade; I assure you it was wonderfully boring. I choose to write it because I was really impressed by the mail, a letter I wrote in California could get anywhere in the world for a quarter, that was the postage back then. Language, Political Beliefs, Nationality, Color, Religion, and Geography were no match for the power of the mail. It is an impressive idea if you think about.

Mail operates on a few simple premises: 1 You have to write where it's going on the outside, optionally where it came from, 2 You must pay a small fee for the services, 3 Trust. Trust is the crux of the mail system, a mailbox is not a fortress or a vault, it is an object that by and large sits in front of our houses unprotected and unwatched. Despite the lack of security surrounding most mailboxes we still send, money, gifts, personal, and sensitive information, hopes, dreams, and so on and so forth by the mail. This sounds very risky, but governments around the globe enacted very strict laws to protect mail from tampering theft and fraud. These actions are to ensure trust, everyday people put out mail mostly without fear because as a society I guess we have all agreed the mail is something you don't mess with. Everyone has to send mail at some point, so for the most part mail is safe. This is not to say that people haven't screwed with the mail, of course they have but then again if they got caught they faced time in a federal prison. Pretty harsh but it enable us to have the communal trust that the mail relies on.

Now having said all that I will attempt to justify mail theft to you.

Thursday night came and went, as did Friday morning and afternoon, my boredom continued. I was starting to get really anxious I needed to stretch my legs. I dressed myself all in black, waited for nightfall then I was off. Still on my kick about dogs I decided to check some of the surrounding back yards to see if I could find any. No luck on the dog front so after about 7 houses I decided it might be time to raid another pantry. I had cleaned out Jim Stanley, Aaron's neighbor to the east, so I decided Carol Barnard and Family, Aaron's neighbor to the west, would be my next stop. When I approached the front door I noticed a package on the front step and that her mail box, which is attached to the front of her house, was over-flowing. I don't know what possessed me, but I took the package and all of her mail. I never even went in, I took it all directly back to the basement and started opening it. The Barnard Family must have been on vacation because they had a lot of mail. The package was an eBay item from seller Your-Secret-Identity to eBay member DarthMaulsLowerHalf. Inside the box was two Star Wars figures Ponda Baba, and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Pushing aside the package I moved onto the mail. Most of the mail was junk, fliers, advertisements, coupon books, and supermarket ads. The portion that wasn't junk mail consisted of two past due credit card bills, one to Capital One for $19.78, not to bad, and the other for a Victoria Secrets card with a balance of $310.11.

I guess Carol had a thing for nice undies. Looking at her it is not something you would have guessed. She was your average middle-aged woman, probably on the wrong end of 45. She wore plain almost dumpy clothes, and was a bit overweight but not much. I had spoken with her several times mostly just a polite "Hello" as I pulled up to Aaron's, but I had talked at length with her at few of the numerous block parties the neighborhood use to throw. All of these homes are in a cult-de-sac and everyone just kind of knows each other. The Hoovers live on the corner. The Truwater’s live in the biggest bluest house on the block because Sam is a richy rich lawyer. The Washington’s live in the red house, and so on and so forth, I don't even live on this street and I know everyone’s business. Elm Ct is just that kind of street, strangely communal, almost a throw back to the 50's with the men mowing the lawns on Saturday afternoons, women baking, and welcome to the neighborhood parties with people just popping by to introduce themselves. It was nice, I think what I liked best was really the annual 4th of July block party, because everyone would get together and chip in for fire works then we would all kind of sit around eating and drinking and trying not to blow ourselves up while all the neighborhood kids watched. Those were good times.

The rest of the mail consisted of a water, cable, and cell phone bill, an appointment reminder for marriage counseling, and a speeding ticket, addressed to carol's daughter Jenny who left for U.C. Berkley last year.

Reading that mail, even though it wasn't mine, made me feel so normal. Mail is so ordinary and consistent. If you get mail you exist, it is as simple as that. It doesn't matter what you get in the mail or who sent it, the simple act of receiving mail proves it. Someone somewhere acknowledges that you in fact are real, and the fact that you received it means you also accept that they are real. If that sounds crazy, then let me bring up Santa Claus.... I know how that last statement sounds, but bear with me just a moment longer.

As a child you believe in Santa, and that he brings gifts every Christmas. Santa knows your toy preference because you sent him a letter. If Santa wasn't real then he couldn't very well receive a letter, even children accept this as a fact. This carefully perpetrated lie hinges on the very notion that mail some how equals existence.

Hopefully I now sound a bit less off the deep end. Anyway, back to what happened. After reading all of mail, I soon went upstairs and outside looking for Aaron and Aprils mail. Whatever is happening out there has had me feeling very close to the frayed ends of sanity, the boundary between unreality and reality feels incredible thin. I keep feeling like I might wake up soon, or wondering if maybe on my way to target I was in a car accident and this is what a coma is. I also imagine that maybe I have died, because the very concrete rules of society have seemed to have eroded rather quickly. The simplest things in my life went away before I realized they were gone, so if the simple act of stealing some mail can help me pull back a few steps from the brink I think its worth it, societal taboo be damned.

So is my theft justified? Have I crossed a line breaking the great trust of the mail? Is this an obsolete societal taboo now that society has up and left? Is my theft justified? You decide, it will be dark in 20 mins and I want to gather the rest of the mail on the street.


Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Like a Thief in the Night

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Happiness is a Warm Gun

Aside from the general level of panic and fear I feel at every moment, the last few days have been pretty boring. I didn't know that in these situations someone could get bored. I am baffled by this realization.

I spent most of Tuesday questing for something to do. Any distraction would have been nice but Tuesday turned into a night of aimless pacing. I worry that these lulls might make me sloppy, that in the absence of something to do I might over extend myself and not be careful. Worse then being bored is feeling safe, the quickest way to miss step is believing you are safe. Constant Vigilance!!! It's a hard mind set to maintain, because it drains you and requires so much focus. Complacence cannot be an option, and I know have become too lax because yesterday I called Aaron's house my house. This is not my house I am a squatter.

Over the last two weeks of my stay I have endeavored to act as if I were a guest in this home, except for the last two days. Normally I sleep in the basement, on a cot with guest linens, Tuesday night I decided that I would go and take Aaron and Aprils blanket and pillows. After liberating their bed linens, Wednesday I decided to pilfer through their private drawers, and explore the closets. It was such a surreal feeling to be digging through other people’s private lives. I remember pretty clearly doing the same thing when I was a child to my parents. They had gone out for the day and left me home alone. I took that time to go through every drawer, the closet, and even under the bed. I went through every nook and cranny, and what did I find? Nothing of interest, not even a dirty magazine, my parents were boring people, and tidy.

Apparently Aaron and April are far more interesting people then my parents, because I found all sorts of things that I am sure they would not want the general public or their friends to know about. I will spare you most of the details, but there were outfits and accouterments of all shapes and sizes for all occasions, seriously some of thme were holiday themed. The most interesting thing I found was a handgun in a spring release mount attached to the underside of the bed frame. More fascinating than finding a gun in the home of my two dearest friends, who I know to be pacifists is the fact that is was on Aprils side of the bed. I knew that April wore the pants in that relationship, but I had no idea she also wore the gun!

The handgun is your standard model 9mm with a 12 round clip. Nothing fancy about the gun itself, it is kind of small but that makes for a better fit in woman's hand. So Now I have a gun, Aprils gun. I admit it makes me feel a bit safer, I now feel like maybe I have a fighting chance if the Yellow Men show up. I know it probably isn't much of a chance but at least it is something.

Ransacking Aaron and Aprils' house really made me miss them. I haven't really though about how my friends are gone, I have mainly focused on the task at hand, which is staying hidden and safe. These last two days have really weighed on me, I haven't had enough other things to worry about so I can't help but missing everyone wondering about them hoping they are okay. I wonder what they think happened to me? Does any one care? Did anyone even bother to look for me? Are they missing me like I miss them? Are they able to miss me?
I may never know, and on that heart warming note I bid you farewell.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on

Monday, October 26, 2009

Night Light?

Well Happy Monday to everyone...Anyone?

I went out to forage/steal food from the neighbors last night and I noticed the big spotlights on the pass are either gone or have gone out. The night sky is dark once again, and it really has me curious, but worried. What does it mean that the lights are off? Does it mean they have gone, ( The Yellow Men) and whatever is wrong has passed, or does it mean the lights burned out? Maybe they just forgot to turn them on, or possibly they just don't need them anymore? I have no way of knowing at this point, but really since the events that transpired on the pass I have come to view those lights as a symbol for the larger problem that is going on. Now those lights are gone and I am left to wonder what it means or to go find out what it means. Exploration seems like a bad choice, I have been so careful to remain hidden that giving up that single measure of security would be very hard for me to do. Last time I was out snooping around I could have been shot, I was a broken bicycle chain away from a bullet to the skull. I got lucky, the two other guys on the pass were not as lucky. Perhaps it's cowardice to sit here in this basement stealing food from neighbors, but I am still alive and that clearly has its benefits.

Another thing I noticed that is almost as troubling as the lack of spotlights is the fact that I haven't heard a dog bark in a long while. I haven't heard much noise to think of really and that is upsetting. Living in a city you get use to noise, the steady stream of sounds in all volumes and varieties. The lack of dogs dawned on me when I was searching the pantry of the neighbors house(Jim). I was in their loading up on corn, Jim must have really loved his corn because he had about 20 cans of it in all shapes and sizes. Did you want it Creamed, Sweet, Unsweetened, Niblets, White Corn, baby corn, corn with no sodium, or King Korn. I do not know what King Korn is and the plain yellow label did not reveal its contents. I left the King Korn but I did take popcorn. So I will be corn fed for awhile, sorry I know that joke is Corny, yuck yuck, oh man I kill myself. Back on point; next to all the corn were cans of wet dog food, this made me think of Jim's dog. Jim has a little Pomeranian and it is what I would call a yip yip dog, due to the constant yip yip sound it constantly makes. Aaron often complained about that stupid dog, I think its name was Frank. Frank the Pomeranian, what a stupid name for a dog. Anyway Frank is just a little dog so I am sure Jim took him when he left, but would everyone take their dogs? Could they? If everyone was being rushed out with limited time and room what is the likelihood that all the dogs would be taken? I say very unlikely. This thought made me stay up and listen for dogs or coyotes or any animal. I didn't hear birds, cats, dogs, or any animals for that matter in fact the list of things I didn't hear and should have is alarmingly long.

The quiet is eerie, and now the silence has a weight I hadn't felt before. Why this should trouble me so much I haven't figured out. I guess it comes back to horror movies, when everything goes quiet someone is about to die or something terrible is about to happen. Right now I feel like I am one pair of high heel and a sprint though a dark forest away from my grave.

Well I guess it is time to figure out my next move, until then.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Dog Days and Nights

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Alice and Her Looking Glass

I can't believe it has only been 3 days since my last post. I have been couped up here for what seems like weeks. No TV, no phone, no Internet, and no contact.

I feel mad as a hatter! I have this incredible thing happening to me and no one to share it with. I have nothing to do but hide. I have walked right through the looking glass into this unreality and now here I am, stuck. So in the face of this madness I have done the only reasonable thing I can think of, imagined my terrible fate.

I have been laying low anticipating the eventual knock or kicking down of the door, the scream of gun fire, the cold panic that overtakes me as I realize I have been shot, the acceptance that my death merits no more comment then the plucking of a single blade of grass, and the lifeless thump my body will make as my muscles release and gravity does its job.

If not that then perhaps my big chase scene will unfold. I will spot the Yellow Men (YM's) as they silent glide up Aaron's street in unmarked black vans. They use the night to their advantage, under the cover of darkness with their headlights out the come to a halt in front of the house. I panic my fight or flight instinct going critical, I choose flight, I run for the back door. As I slip out, the front door crashes in the hinges twisting and buckling, a flood of light spills into the house. The YM's spill through the vacant doorway oozing down every hall and into every room searching Back and forth the red lights from lazer sights twitch. They will notice the obvious signs of habitation, and eventual they will notice the back door that isn't fully closed and then with further inspection they notice my trail. My trail leads across the yard, over the wall and into the field. In the field it is fairly obvious which way I am running. I am fleeing north and I have about a five minute head start. Beyond the field is tract homes, I will make for them. I will check each house until I find an open door. Once the lucky house is found I will hide, being very careful not to upset the order of the house or to give away my position. I will have taken my shoes off just so I don't leave prints on the carpet. I make my way to an attic and shimmy into its furthest corner and I will be silent. After about half and hour I will think I have gotten away I will begin to feel relief, but it won't be justified. Terror will take me instantly as I hear the first thowp thowp of helicopter blades, the sound comes closer. Closer. Closer, and final it is above me. From my perch in the attic the spinning of the helicopters blades is all I can hear, it drowns out my thoughts. I resolve to remain still and quiet, I think as long as I am calm maybe they wont find me. This deadly game of hide and seek is over before it even started. They have thermal imaging, they know exactly where I am. They don't even expend the effort to drag me out of the attic, they find my position and put enough holes through the ceilings with their guns to make sure I am well ventilated. They will watch on their thermal scanner as my heat signature leaks out and slowly goes dark. I will die in an attic without a fight, last word, or an ounce of bravery.

This is what 3 days in a house without entertainment does to me. I have imagined several variations of these tales and a few other less likely scenarios. while isolation might be the dream killer, it is also surely the breeding grounds for nightmares. I need to get out of here if for no other reason I am almost out of food. Aaron's refrigerator was pretty stocked up but a few days without power spoiled everything. I am debating looting the neighbors pantries, I am even considering a journey to the local supermarket, I will have to get more food eventually, and maybe I will find some signs of life and some answers to all the mad questions.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
We're All Mad Here

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Encroaching Dark

I am felling a good deal more sane today, so I guess that's something. I think posting here has helped me, it makes me feel like I can connect to the outside world, even though I am unsure if these blogs ever make it out. It helps and that's the point and that is why I am going to keep doing this even if no one ever gets to see it.



I should tell you what happened on Sunday, what really happened not just what I wished had happened.

As stated before I did make my way up the Santa Susana Pass towards the accident site. I got to the pass on bike as planned, but snapped the chain before I made it more then 30 yards up the pass. No big deal I can still walk, it shouldn't be a problem. The pass was longer and darker then I recalled, I normally drive it during the day never giving it much of a thought, but at night on foot it is terrible. The pass travels around the mountain side for about 5 miles to the where the police and ambulances had their staging area set up to assist with the train crash. You can see the giant flood lights from the bottom of the pass, being able to see the lights the whole walk made it that much longer. I constantly had the feeling that it was closer then it actually was.

About 1/2 way up Nevele starts to freak out, I have never seen him like that. He is thrashing in his carrier, spitting, yowling, crying, it was the worst noise I have ever heard him make. I was pretty worried so I tried to take him out of the box, the little bastard clawed my arm and took off. He just ran into the night that stupid shit, he has no idea where he is, I don't know if he will be able to find his way home or not. I tried to chase him but he moved so fast. I started to think that the way he was acting may have been a sign of rabies, then I worried that since he clawed me I might have got it. It has been a few days since then and nothing has happened so in very relative terms I am okay. I haven't seen the cat, I looked at my house, I looked on my way back but no trace of him. I wanted to be able to call for him, but given the circumstance it wasn't possible.

After standing dumb founded and upset over losing my cat for about 5 minutes, I decided it was time to press on. I walked for another 15 or so when the giant spotlights came into full view. They were a way off but I could clearly see those aholes in the yellow hazmat suits patrolling the area. I could also make out two figures just outside the main pools of light, It was good to know I wasn't the only jerk left behind. I thought about yelling out to them, but I figured I'd be up there soon enough and maybe the the Yellow Men wouldn't look too hard at me if I let someone else give their idiots tale first. The Yellow Men notice them, and I can see them gesturing to each other. I am just watching now, my legs are frozen. Dread I clearly feel dread sweeping over me. This isn't like worrying if you are going to pass a test or an inspection this is stiff kneed dread, that just cusps the edge of terror. I can't imagine why I feel this way so suddenly, then I realize it's the way the Yellow Men gestured, it was aggressive, militant. I have seen signs like those before, in the Air Force and every war movie I ever watched. It also dawns on me that the Yellow Men have guns, as I attempt to process what's going on and unstick myself from this spot, I am so firmly glued to, two more Yellow Men appear. It happens in unison and with timing and accuracy that only a lot of practice brings. The guns rise, the muzzles flash, a dull thock thock thock thock whispers, and the two figures fall. It came to me on the way down that the two murdered individuals on the pass never cried out, did they even know it was going to happen? Was the light to bright, were they blinded? Those yellow bastards snuffed them out as easy as 1,2,3 and they probably never knew it was about to happen. Those poor people died with hope an relief on the tips of their tongues. I watched with my tongue firmly stuck to my lower jaw, mouth agape, and stupid. Should I have yelled out to them, did I even have time? Those questions don't matter, done is done as they say.

After their bodies hit the ground I had the simple sense to get my legs in motion and head back. I was as quiet as I have ever been as I made my way back down. I left the bike in the middle of the road, its broken chain still lying in the street. It took me awhile to get back to Aaron's, a 10 minute bike ride turned into a pretty long walk. I was very careful the whole way back, I didn't see anyone, not that I think their is anyone to see.

Monday and Tuesday I was to afraid to use the Internet because I thought that I might be noticed online. Another factor is the generator and how loud it is, I didn't want to risk bringing attention to myself. Those two days of being closed up in Aaron's basement made me think I was going crazy. I could see those people die every time I closed my eyes. Posting was the first thing that made me feel normal. I still haven't eaten and I know I need too but my appetite is gone. I will force myself to if I have to I will need the strength to figure out my next move.

Here is something funny the cable and the DSL are all out, I can't find a wireless signal at all. So how do I post? Two ways my Iphone which I think is making it out, the reception is at 0 bars but it says 3Gt and Earthlink, LOL, I am on fricken dial up. The phones receivers get this static sound when you pick them up but for whatever reason I can still dial out of Oxnard. If they are jamming everything else, it looks like they missed a spot. Hooray Loophole, and 3 cheers for dial up. I set this blog to auto post all emails I send it, because it takes 10 minutes to load this page from dial up and almost that long on my phone. I am not sure if I will be able read comments posted here, but if anyone is out there and you have any information on what is going on, or how to get out of here safely please contact me.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Alive in the Super Unknown

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Ashes Ashes We All Fall Down

Thursday October 15th, 2009

I made my way up the Santa Susana Pass towards the accident site, when I got near the top of the pass I was stopped by a few police officers who were patrolling the area. I informed the officers of what happened, told them where I lived, all my personal info. They explained to me that they had evacuated the remaining citizens late Saturday evening, and I must have missed it somehow. I told them how I had climbed into Cam's motor home because it had a generator, a very loud generator, and watched a DVD. It is pretty much my fault I missed the evacuation, I had the volume on the TV way up to hear the movie, took a Tylenol PM and passed out leaving it all on. It was all a silly mistake, but its over now and I am on my way to Oregon to stay with my parents.

The Police handed me over to some paramedics, who took me to Northridge hospital to be checked out. I stayed in the hospital for two days I was dehydrated and that plume of smoke from the train crash was toxic so they wanted to make sure I didn't show any other irregular signs. While in the hospital I got a hold of my mom and she told me that she had called and called but my phone said it was disconnected. This again is another silly mistake on my part. I shut off the house line and never told my parents. I failed to give them my cell number because I didn't want them calling me while I was out. After being released from the hospital I was given a bus/train ticket to Oregon. I took a Greyhound to Bakersfield which dropped me off at the train station. The train ride would take a little over a day but it would get me to Central Point Oregon no problem. I was really nervous to be on a train after the big crash, and I admit to white knuckling it a few times when the train lurched but all in all it was fine trip.

Aaron called me last night He told me that April, his wife, had given birth a few days ago (Sunday)to his first daughter Nedda, which oddly enough means born on Sunday. When the fires started they had pretty much left in a rush, they were afraid that the smoke would hurt the baby. Shortly after they left April went into labor, which is about a four weeks early. The complications kept them in the hospital and out of contact with everyone. April and the baby are doing well but Aaron said it was scary the first few days not knowing how things would turn out. April has to stay in the hospital a few more days with the baby just to make sure everything is okay, but The prognosis is very positive. Aaron is really really really excited and after everything gets situated he wants to show the kid off to me and everyone.

I am here in Central Point now looks like I will be stuck up here a few weeks at least. It isn't terrible here but I can't wait until they get Simi Valley cleaned up so I can go home. Oh and BTW Nevele is fine he made it through too, he didn't groom himself for a few days so I thought the stress had gotten to him but after a full day in a normal house he seems as good as new.

~Johnny~
All's Well That Ends Well ....

I really wish that was the post I could give you and swear by, but it isn't true. This isn't a movie, I don't have a script writer making sure I get a happy ending, all I have is myself and this situation which is a steaming pile of shit. I don't know what to say, I don't think I can take it. Everything is so fucking wrong.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Three Right Make a Left

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sunday Funday

The weekend has been less then ideal, I still have no power and the food in my fridge is slowly going bad. I have had no word from anyone about what is going on and I can't reach anyone, a google search can only tell me that due to a large fire and a train crash that Simi Valley was evacuated, and that travel in and out is closed. If Simi was evacuated how can I still be here? I guess they meant mostly evacuated. I think I am the only one on my street that is left. I went door to door this morning and either people weren't answering or they were gone. It seems more then likely that they were gone. I decided not to do anything on yesterday I figured Id enjoy the day, experience a day without modern convenience, read by candle light and turn in early. That was interesting for about 6 hours.

At about 4 in the afternoon, I remembered Cam had a motor home and that occasionally his kids would watch TV in it. I figured Cam and his family aren't around so wouldn't mind if I made myself at home. I managed to charge my phone in the motor home, I also helped myself to some food from their house. If these basic acts of theft weren't enough I also slept in the motor home last night because it has power and a DVD player. I am currently still in the motor home, where I typing this blog up on my phone.

Let me take this moment to thank Cam. Dear Cam I appreciate your things, thank you.

My final decisions have been made. First thing I am going to do is bike to the train crash, and see if I can get someone to take me and Nevele out of Simi, if that doesn't work I am taking the cat and going to Aaron's house, and I am going to stay there until I figure out what to do next. I know he has a back up generator, and a land line so I might be able to use those, he also has a large store of food. He and his wife were always very worried about earthquakes so they have tons of water and canned goods, we use to always joke that if a disaster happened we would all be moving in. That joke has lost a lot of its humor for me now. Happy Birthday to me.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
Johnny
A Real Catch-23

Friday, October 9, 2009

Powerless

It is 5:25 in the morning and the power is still out. This post comes to you from my phone, it is small and fun to type on. Go Thumbs!

All entrances and exits to Simi Valley are closed. The beauty of living in a true valley is that it is very easy to isolate it. Simi Valley can very effectively be closed by doing nothing more then blocking the freeways and the three roads that go in and out of it. The only other way in is via railroad and after yesterdays massive crash, that is one more exit sealed. Around 5:30 PM I tried to leave, but found every turn blocked. The Freeway has been closed, but until now the Santa Susana Pass had been left as an exit, but I guess because of the train crash that's now closed. I drove around for 3 hours last night trying to leave, me and tons of other hangers on. It use to be you couldn't go more then a block without seeing a cop but now it almost feels like I live in a ghost town.

The roadblocks are unmanned, just those giant concrete center dividers and barrels of water between me and freedom. I could walk out of Simi if I wanted too, and if the fire gets much worse that might be what I end up doing. The smoke isn't as bad as it was two days ago the wind seems like its shifted blowing the fire back at itself, but without any real news this is all just speculation on my part. I met an older guy Ryan and his wife Helen last night who were leaving, they told me that the train crash happened because the two trains were both running unscheduled "secret" routes. The news said it was a freight train and MetroLink, Ryan says a guy he knows "who is in the KNOW" confirmed it was a freight train and a metrolink, but the metrolink was carrying government agents, and that the freight train had illicit cargo that needed to be rushed out of the city without drawing any attention. Ryan and Helen were leaving on foot, they up and left their car and all their worldly belongings based on what Ryans friend told them. This all sounds like hyper paranoia to me. Who knows what the context of the conversation really was, if this guys friend is pathological liar, or maybe it could be that Ryan is miscommunicating the message. Should I loose my cool, and panic based on a possible bad game of telephone? It all seems implausible and convenient, but I for some reason I keep thinking about the guys in the Yellow suits, the sudden fire, and now this train crash, it doesn't add up. If all incoming traffic both automobile and train were suspended, why would a metrolink be attempting to enter Simi Valley? Simi Valley doesn't have a train cargo loading station so how was that freight train loaded and how did it get into Simi if it was loaded elsewhere?

Fear can do wonders for anybody's imagination, wrap that up with stress and insufficient sleep and you have a recipe for paranoid over-reaction. Cooler heads prevail, I just need to stay calm and see what the day brings me. A little more sleep would also be nice. I have to sign off, I don't want to kill the battery on this phone who knows when I will need it again, maybe my parents will call or one of my many friends!!!

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Here we go round the Mulberry Bush

Thursday, October 8, 2009

So Long and Thanks for all the Fish.

I don't know if any of you remember when a few hours ago I said "It's my house, I will stay and watch it burn". Well I have officially changed my mind. So why the sudden reversal? Aaron and his wife are gone. No call, no notes, they didn't even lock the door. The fire is still going strong and the power is out. To get this posted I am having to use my backup power battery, which is beeping like crazy and making me want to stab my ear drums. The power going out is to be expected what with this giant fire and all. What isn't expected is a giant train crash and a rather toxic looking cloud rising above it. I have no idea how it happened or what the details are. The radio says two trains just collided, one a freight train and one a MetroLink. With all the chaos of the fire, I didn't think it was possible to create more sirens, but I was wrong. Right now it is nonstop, the wailing of sirens is so loud I can't think. As they race off to try and help with the train crash I figure it must be bad because that is a lot of noise and a lot of emergency vehicles. It also occurs to me that if they have to subdivide their forces between a fire and a train crash that it could get ugly here quick. So with all these factors not to mention the plume above the train crash, I have decided enough is enough. When I hear more about the crash and I am in a safe location that I will let you know.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Also Yo

Fire Fire Burning Bright


The fire still burns. I have been trying to call my parents all day, and as luck would have it they aren't home or they are avoiding the call. My parents have not called me once since the fire began, I am not surprised but I am a little angry. I talk to my parents once every month or two for about 10 mins. They really aren't interested in me as a person and I know for a fact I wasn't planned. My father wasn't suppose to be able to get anyone pregnant but I guess he had one lucky shot in him, too bad that shot came when he was climbing the ladder towards 40. My mother had me when she was 35 years-old and my father was 39. They weren't bad parents; however, not being bad does not qualify one as being good. My parents did the minimum, they loved me but weren't affectionate, I have no idea if they were ever proud or angry, I don't know if I every really gave them cause either way. I guess you could say they were more like care takers. It'ss pretty sad but when I was in Jr. High I told some friends I had that they were my grandparents and that my mom and dad had died in a car crash when I was a baby. I just didn't want to admit that these old people who didn't do much more then blink at me were my parents. I had seen other parents of course and they just didn't fit the bill.


So why would I be angry at them for not calling or answering? This is something I should expect I know, but its easier to be mad at them then at my friends. My friends for a long time have been my true family, and I don't want to be angry with them for going away, being married or being with their families at a time like this. I feel very abandoned right now. The stupid city is burning down around my ears, and I feel trapped, I have no one to call and no where to go.


Okay I have whined for the last 20 minutes, poor me, my friends are gone, and my parents suck...boohoo. It could be worse my house is still standing I have the important things ready if I need to leave. I am not leaving unless I have to. This is my house I still owe tons of money on it, if its going to burn down I want to watch it catch with my own eyes before I leave it.

I think I am going to go find out where Aaron (one of my few remaining friends in the area)is. I have called and called him over the past few days and no answer, I even called his wife's phone and nothing. I am going to pound on his door and impose, I am sick of being couped up and alone. A drive will be nice, plus I can see how far the fire has spread and exactly what I am dealing with. It is going to be another long day.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Otter Pop blues

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Should I stay or should I go?

Today has been a very long and trying day.

The fire is still blazing pretty much out of control. The west end of Simi is totally evacuated, plenty of people from the east end of Simi have left. At least 30 houses have been claimed by the fire and I guess a few hundred people are without a place to stay. The city has converted the YMCA and the Boys and Girls clubs into make shift shelters for anyone who needs them. I guess the Chemical portion of the fire is out, the smoke isn't black anymore but it is everywhere. It is so hard to breath here, being from the LA area I am use to gray skies, this however is something completely different. Ash is falling everywhere, and the smoke is so thick it has visibility reduced to 20ft in some place. It hasn't been all bad news though, we are no longer restricted to our homes, but we are still on evacuation watch. I guess I was being paranoid about what I saw over the weekend because we are all over the news now. It is hard to imagine that in the day and age we live in that a fire might be able to take a whole city out. The news is saying that it's a real possibility unless we get help soon, the Governator has begged all available fire departments to send help. Access to Simi is still closed off, I should really go, but the question is go where? My parents moved to Oregon last summer, all of my friends have pretty much gone, the few friends I have left here are all with their families, it is terrible. The feeling of isolation is totally unexpected. I have always been a person who does well alone, I never felt like I needed people, but that may have only been true because people were always around for me. This is the first time that I don't have anyone at arms reach when I need them. My nature is not to be introspective, it is just something I don't do. For me my vision always falls on whatever is in front of me, the past is gone and the future is to far away. Some might consider this being too narrow, I always fancied it as living in the moment. Oh well it is whatever it is.

I packed my things, well the important things and the things that fit in my car. Every important piece of paper is packed and ready to go, my hard drive is backed up on an external drive and my laptop is packed too. Aside from that I grabbed a few trinkets and clothes. Here is an exercise. Sit in your house and look at everything you own, now pick the 5 most important things. For me I only had like 3 things that were important to me. My hard drive was important, it has pictures and everything I wrote in school. My car keys because it holds my freedom, and a few trinkets from my childhood. Those are my important things, my laptop isn't important, neither are the clothes those I just needthem for convenience. My birth certificate, ID, social security card, and Medical info are not important. These are Items that society needs me to have, but to live and cherish the life I have lived they have zero consequence.

I keep coming back to the one thing I can't get over about the past few days. The guys in the yellow hazmat suits. It's like when you loose a tooth and your tongue keeps swooping through the hole, you know its gone but you just can't keep yourself from checking. No one seems to have seen them but me. Enough of my obsessing, I have bigger hotter things to worry about right now.


Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
If I Stay there could be trouble

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

What is going on???

It is total madness here, news vans, helicopters, and I think the CDC. Okay, I don't know if it's the CDC but guys the yellow quarantine suits are running around. I can't find info on whatever is happening in my city anywhere. If I am having this problem I assume everyone else is.

I am going to change gears with this blog for a little bit, and really focus on what's happening. After its over it will be back to our regularly scheduled programming.

You would think with all the helicopters and news vans there would be a lot of news to be had, but there isn't. So if you know anything email me please. Somebody has to know something. The fire is getting worse, and I don’t think anyone really cares. Here is another pic, it looks like Mount Doom.



If you read this and you have any information please post or email
Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
No News is Bad News

The Fire

Not much has happened since yesterday. The fire is looking pretty bad, at least from what I can tell. The smoke is really black and it's everywhere, it's actually pretty hard to breath if you go outside for more then a few minutes. The older lady Doris, who lives next door to me, gave me and a few other neighbors those little off-white doctor masks to help us breath. The Fire department updated us at around 8pm last night saying that evacuations are currently voluntary but might become mandatory very soon. All the neighbors met last night to kind of discuss if we were going to leave or not. Cam and Linda who live behind me said they are leaving for sure. Doris believes this is just like fire season, and the fires may get close but they won't reach the homes. I am unsure how I feel about it. About every two years we get a fire along the mountain that threatens our homes, and some people leave and some stay. Where I live I have always been lucky the fire either gets put under control or the wind shifts it a new direction. This fire feels different, its not really even that close to use but the smoke is so black. I am think the evacuations are because the smoke might be toxic. That is just a guess. It doesn't really make sense to evacuate when the fire isn't even within 3 miles of us so why is it happening? Tom says that one of the firefighters, a friend of his, told him it was best to leave, and that several places in Simi had already been evacuated.

I finally saw some news this morning but all it said is that we have a large wildfire that is only 17% contained, and that some areas have been evacuated. It also said traffic into Simi Valley was restricted to emergency personnel only. I guess this means we are free to leave but if we do we can't come back.

All of this just isn't adding up for me. It doesn't explain what happened by the hospital, or why guys in Yellow Hazmat suits were all over, or why all those house were covered in plastic sheets. I guess I need to make a decision pretty quick. I will keep you posted. Oh and here is a pic I got this morning of the smoke.




~Johnny~
Support Natural Selection.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Hopping Mad

So I went to the TV, positive that now I would surely get some news, but again I come up empty handed. So I have now showered, played Xbox and putted around the house. At about 830 I got a call from my boss Bruce saying that he can't get to work because the freeway into Simi is closed. I told him I was jealous he could leave the house. He told me he thinks this all must be from the fire because the west end of Simi is covered in black smoke. So I guess that confirms it, FIRE. Meanwhile I spent the whole day being stuck in the house mulling about hopping from one thing to another trying to stay entertained. The spotty cell phone service is killing me, I can't seem to keep 1 bar for more then 2 minutes. I turned off my house phone two months ago, because the only people who ever called it were trying to sell me a car warranty or clean my rugs, I am really kicking myself over that decision right now. The cable has been on and off too, which means the Internet is on and off as well. It is 3pm I am going to try and post this to all the local websites, I know of, to see if anyone else knows what is going on. I hope this makes it out, but the way everything is on again off again I have no idea. When I find out more I will update immediately. I have a feeling that something is very rotten in the state of Denmark California!

Again if you read this and you have any information please post or email
Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Just hoppy to be here

For Whom the Bells Toll

At 6am this morning I awoke to the bleating of sirens and horns, I stumble out of bed only half aware of what is going on, and angry to be up 40 minutes before my alarm. I make my way to the front porch to see what the commotion is and it’s the Fire Department and the men in Yellow suits, who I think are the CDC. They are driving slowly up and down each street informing us with their loud speakers " DUE TO A LARGE CHEMICAL FIRE EVERYONE IS TO STAY INDOORS UNTIL YOU ARE EVACUATED OR GIVEN THE ALL CLEAR". Time to check the news again, oh boy I can’t wait.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Chant you Mindless Cattle

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Screw the News

Now I remember why I stopped watching the news its all doom and gloom, murder, car chases, and some lousy human interest story ( wow sounds a lot like a Dan Brown Novel). What do I care that Linda in Del Mar has 19 Cats, and that she names them all after dead popes? The only report I could find was on KCAL channel 9, and it was only a 20 second blurb about an "incident" at Simi Valley Adventist Hospital with more details to follow. No details followed, at least not yet. Oh and "Incident" what is that? Thanks, next time KCAL be more vague I was totally overwhelmed with all the facts. Man, I hate the local news! It's too bad that this is all I could find. I searched Google, the Ventura County Star website, CBS, NBC, and all the rest… nothing. I looked for a good three hours and came up with zero bits of worthwhile info. The adrenaline and my mad need to KNOW are starting to ebb and suddenly I feel exhausted. My phone tells me it 11:11pm and I need to be in bed.

If you read this and you have any information please post or email
Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Better in bed than Dead

Strange Days & Nights

Well I just got back from seeing my parents, and while the act of staying with your parents while you are an adult is strange it was the least strange thing that happened. My 5 days with my parents while awkward and uncomfortable was really uneventful. If my vacation was cheese it would be classified as mild Cheddar due to how bland it was. The interesting stuff happened when I got home.

Last night at about 7:30 pm Sunday Oct 4th I noticed while driving on the 118 freeway that the area by the Hospital was taped off, and that police and fire engines were everywhere. I didn't think much of it until today when I tried to go to Target. I got off of work and headed to Target to pick up a few things and the exit (Sycamore) was closed. No big deal right, so I get off at the next exit (Erringer) and head north to Alamo St. to back track. I make it about halfway down and its all coned off with a few cop cars blocking both sides of the street with their lights flashing. At this point I am curious if it has to do with the other night so I pull over and make my way up to one of the police officers. I get within about 5ft and over his loud speaker he says, "GET BACK IN YOUR CAR, TURN AROUND AND GO HOME". I try to ask why, I take another step, and I get the loud speaker again " THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING TURN AROUND OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED".

Well I am feeling pretty defeated at this point, but also way more curious, despite that I turn around and get back in my car. I have now forgotten about Target completely, I am determined to see what the hell is going on. I drive down to Sequoia Ave to see if I can sneak in, same thing, taped off before you get to Alamo. I try Tapo Canyon, no luck. I even try sneaking up and around via some residential Neighborhoods off Township Ave, but the situation there is even worse. The houses where Lemon St and Township cross are totally blocked, I see a few military looking tents, the houses are covered in plastics and every street entrance is blocked. Then it gets really strange I see guys in the yellow jumpsuits with the full masks on. I am not sure if they are bio-hazard suits or radiation suits, but it doesn't matter whatever they are for it isn't good. In the Air Force I saw some videos of Biological Warfare and it was scary stuff. I am getting a little scared now. My mind is spinning, I am thinking terrorist, government experiment, weapons plant malfunction, I have obviously seen to many movies. I think maybe its paranoia. I am going to check the news to see what I can find out.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Sunday, Monday, Happy Days,

Friday, September 25, 2009

I Can Has Blog



So I guess I have been living under a rock for the past year or so, because I just heard about LOLCats. To the creator and all the people who keep LoLCats going I thank you. LoLCats remind me of the posters that use to be offered in elementary school via Scholastic. Does anyone else remember those? Every 2 months or so your teacher would hand out a flyer and it had books you could order and pencils with designs, and other school stuff. It also had posters of animals usually puppies and kittens doing something cute. At the time I though, who would buy a picture of a kitten sitting in a coffee mug? It seemed like such a waste especially when you could buy Garfield 19: The Monday that ate the lasagna, or some other such book. I bought a lot of Garfield and now I own an orange cat, my name isn't John but it is to close for comfort. It's funny to think how scholastic book flyer's are still in my life. So yeah I love me some LoLcats now. It's sad I have been stalking my cat around the house , camera in hand, waiting for him to do something cute but it just hasn't happened yet. Nevele is looking pretty annoyed.

I am happy the weekend is here I want to go out and do something with my friends. A movie might be nice, but nothing serious, this week had plenty of real drama, The Informant looks funny maybe everyone will be on board for that. In nothing else I can look forward to my 5 day vacation in Center Point Oregon. What is in Center Point? My Parents, after that nothing, nothing at all.

Okay I leave you now with a few Pics, See you next Monday.


TranquilNow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Now 5% more emo

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Blogonaut

Last night while watching TV I caught a local new commercial that was talking about the danger of BLOGS, it cuts to some guys saying " It could be any random person out in the blogosphere, saying whatever they want and causing a lot of damage." Okay the blogosphere? Does the average person who watches the 8 O'clock News know what that means? The news is so terrible why does anyone watch it? I thought the term blogosphere was pretty fun, it made me think of space. I now proclaim myself a Blogonaut, who for the good of the people will explore the dreaded blogosphere. Whatever information I find in that terrible space between our world and THE INTERNETS, known as the Blogosphere, I make my solemn duty to bring forth so that our people may prosper.

A quick Google search says this about blogosphere: The term was coined on September 10, 1999 by Brad L. Graham, as a joke.[1] It was re-coined in 2002 by William Quick,[2] and was quickly adopted and propagated by the warblog community. The term resembles the older word logosphere (from Greek logos meaning word, and sphere, interpreted as world), the "the world of words", the universe of discourse

So there you go, now we all know something more about blogoshpere.

On the real life front I received an email from Carlie. It was pretty tame it said she arrived safe and that her and Karin (her best friend she went to Europe with) were having a good time so far. currently they are in London with plans to go to Whales. So that the girlfriend, exgirlfriend Unknown Status friend update for today.

Work is just inching by this week, it couldn't go slower if time was standing still. Today at work I had almost nothing to do, so I decided to look up old cartoons from the 80's. Most of what turned up were boys cartoons, He-Man, Gi-Joe, Transformers, Mask, and the list goes on. I noticed while doing this search a few cartoons I only vaguely remember, they were aimed more for girls I believe. I am not talking about JEM or Carebears we all know those. These are shows like Shirt Tales, Monchichis, and The Punky Bruster Cartoon. WOW they are just awful, some of the worst things I have ever seen. The theme songs are so bad they are almost good. Something I noticed is that lots of these shows have nonhuman stars or sidekicks, which is pretty odd when you think about it. I leave you with these lovely videos to watch.



TranquilNow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
4 the Popples

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Excuse me, my Blog is Showing.

Well I guess people are reading.
I got an email last night asking about the name of my blog from LaughOutLOL@gmail.com It is pretty cool that someone that I don't know has already found this blog, anyway the answer. Tranquil Now is just something I got use to saying after I got out of the Air Force. People would come up to me and say, how does it feel to be a free man or something like that and I'd say I am tranquil now all is peace and love. It was mainly a joke but I did feel a great sense of peace after leaving the military. It was harder on me then I realized. I was just an account, but every fund I approved was pretty much in the aim of killing others or war. It sounds a little melodramatic but I was a cog in the machine, turning the gears of war. When it was over I was happy to be done. I liked my time in the military and I learned a lot, but I wouldn't go back. So that's where Tranquil Now comes, it would have been peace now but that sounds like and antiwar slogan.

I wound up buying Halo 3 ODST for the Xbox, I had never played a Halo game but they this one is pretty fun. I am not very good yet but it keeps me occupied, so for that I am thankful. The Xbox has games you can download , so I have been testing out tons of demos to see what I want to buy. My top picks so far are Uno, Braid, and Castlevania. The Castlevania game is just a port of the playstation 1 game but it is still one of my favs.

My lunch is almost over so its time to get back to real work, until tomorrow.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
3 Onions walk into a bar....
(sorry I can't go on this joke stinks)

Monday, September 21, 2009

The allure of sights unseen

I haven't slept much and I have questions.

What is the allure of sights unseen and travel?
This is something I have never really understood, I have never really had the desire to travel or go places I have never been. It is fair to say that I am not the adventurous type, but that isn't always a negative. I get a lot of grief from my friends about my lack of travel ambition, but I ask you what is so wrong about wanting to be close to the things you love and know. The grass isn't always greener, and vacationing is a farce. Why do people need to leave everything they have established to relax? If the home and life you have is that terrible I think maybe its time to change your life on a more permanent basis. Perhaps I am one of the lucky few that likes their life how it is? I don't need or want a break from my life I am happy with how things are I don't need a change of location to make me feel better. Here is another question, What happens when you take a bad vacation? You hear a lot about people who had an awful vacation, so what is the remedy for that? Is it another vacation, or is it going home and getting back into the routine? If the answer is being home and back to your normal life, then why was the vacation necessary in the first place?

I am just feeling bitter. Carlie being gone has soured my mood, and with my best friends getting married and moving to New York I don't have an active outlet to vent to. Sorry blog readers I have to tell someone, and that someone is you. It's bad enough to sleep poorly and wake up early, but to dwell on all of this is just sickening.

I think after work I will go to WorstBuy and grab a game for the Xbox, maybe that will take my mind off all of this. Time for work, adios.

TranquilNow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
2 For the Show

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Hooray!!! First Post

So this is the first post. Woooo
Okay now it's over and we can move on.

So the focus of this blog is mainly about everyday life. My friends have encouraged demanded me to write this. This demand is not based on an skill or because I have something profound to say. The real reason is because I never call, and I am terrible at keeping them up to date on what is going on. For the most part all of my friends have moved, which sucks. It has been a mass exodus in the last 11 months. I went from having most of my friends within 10 miles to only 3 remaining in California. To top it off my girl friend just left for Europe for 3 months. So that's the story, that is why I blog.

I am having a case of the Mondays. I am at work and I have a ton of stuff to get done but I just can't seem to find the motivation. My weekend was pretty blah or bad, mainly bad I guess. Saturday I drove Carlie to the airport so she could disappear in Europe for 3 months, what a piece of drama that was. I am not sure how I feel about trying to maintain a relationship over an ocean. We have only been dating 4 months I know I like her a lot, and I am sad she is gone. What I don't know is, if its fair to tell her that she needs to stay faithful and behave in a manner befitting of girlfriend status. She says she want to stay together, but I told her to have fun and not to think about me or call. This was her big graduation present for finishing nursing school. I just don't think she should restrict herself. I think as long as she comes back from Europe, without an STD, pregnant, or a tattoo bearing the name of some foreign lover, I could see us getting back together.

So essentially I think we are broken up, but she gave me an Xbox 360 and told me to be good.
Will an Xbox be enough to keep me faithful? Probably, it is not like I am out there meeting tons of girls, I work with all men, and I don't like to party. I guess we will have to wait and see if video games are the way to my heart. The count down to Xmas and Carlies return begins.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
0 now lonelier than 1